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Remember ‘FUN’?

I had always imagined being a fun-loving and happy mother.  Being a mum was what I had always wanted. However, there came a point in my life, a few years ago, where I allowed myself to take a look around and be honest with myself about what I saw. There was no playfulness, very little laughter and a distinct absence of fun in my life. I had become serious and pretty sombre almost all of the time. How did I get here? Was it my too-high expectations leading to continuous disappointment? Was it my perfectionist attitude being disappointed with anything less than the unattainable perfection from myself and others around me? Regardless of what the cause or causes may have been, I made the conscious decision to re-introduce fun and laughter into my life. Regularly. Have you forgotten fun lately? Think back to who you were before you were married. Before you had the responsibilities you have now.  What were five things you would do for fun? It doesn’t take me long to remember that

Resentment is a Signpost

Do you get angry or resentful if you see your husband relaxing on the couch when there’s so much to do? Do you begrudge him having time outside the home, away from the kids? Do you sometimes feel like he has it so much easier than you do? Four years ago I found myself seething while vacuuming under my husband’s feet. It was 8.45pm and I was seven months pregnant with our third child.  There he was, the man I fell head-over-heels in love with seven years before, resting on the couch…and I was still going. Still working. Still trying to get everything done.  ‘ How could he rest?! Doesn’t he see me? ’ I thought. ‘ How can he think that it is okay to just sit there when he knows I find walking painful at this stage of pregnancy, never-mind vacuuming? Clearly he doesn’t love me or care about me ’, I confirmed.  I dreamed of my husband saying ‘ let me do that…sit down, love. You deserve to rest…you’ve done enough ’. But the permission to rest never came. USING RESENTMENT AS A SIGNPOST It was

Flip It

Are you experiencing emotional turmoil? Is there a person or situation in your life preoccupying your mind to the point of distraction? Is there a very real fear or concern overshadowing your peace? Is some hurt you are feeling leading you to ruminate? Are you experiencing anger towards someone or something but can’t seem to express it, process it or get past it? More often than I’d like to admit, I can find myself spiralling into emotional turmoil. And when I am experiencing that level of emotional pain, it can be so hard  to turn my focus elsewhere. It can be so hard  to see any shred of good where I am feeling and seeing only pain and angst. It feels so painfully real  and I can find plenty of evidence  to support my doubts, my anger, my loneliness, my worries, my fears, my beliefs. Perhaps this is a familiar dynamic for you, too? But what if we have more control than we may think over the unnecessary upheaval we find ourselves in? What if I told you that one simple exercise can sta

One Thing is Necessary

As mothers our days can feel like they are hijacked as soon as our children awake. We can be care-giving and serving from the minute we rise to the minute our kids go to bed at night. Perhaps even then struggling in the evening to stop ‘doing’ long enough to be fully present with our spouse. With ‘all we have to do’, where is there time left in the day to just  be ? My alarm clock  used to be my children. While they climbed on top of me, my mind would race to the tasks that lay ahead: the planning, preparing, cooking, feeding, changing, dressing, tidying, decluttering, organising, sorting, cleaning, washing, folding, playing, care-giving, home-schooling, phone calls, arranging, packing, unpacking, socialising, shopping. I would lie there, trying to convince myself to get up. Reminding myself - albeit begrudgingly - that this is my life’s purpose; that this is what I had always wanted. Reminding myself that as a good Catholic wife and mother you put up with the workload, the persistent